ITS DONE!

Many people have asked about the actual race, the strategy, the thoughts, the feelings.  Its so strange what Focus this intense can do in a persons mind.  I don’t actually remember things all that well and its always interesting to me to think back to what stood out. 

Leading up to the race, I tried a slightly different approach than usual.  I am still learning about commitment, self-control, and energy conservation.  My older, more established teammates have taught me so much about this but my thick skull is sometimes hard to crack.  Usually, at meets like this I try to be at the track for as many events as possible and do as much as I can to really experience the excitement of it all.  This time I laid low.  I felt guilty about not spending time with family and friends who had come to town especially for me but I hoped that I would be forgiven if I actually pulled this thing off.  I spend a lot of time at home, which was an amazing perk of the meet being here in Eugene. I read, streamed a few races and interviews and even watched some TV (You have to understand-TV is not really my thing. I don’t even own one at my house. I watched ONE episode of the Office on Netflix this weekJ) And I was able to eat all my meals in the comfort of my own little cave…er, I mean HOME (I currently live in a tiny, teeny basement apartment.) Anyway, my teammates taught me the strategy of seriously not doing ANYTHING before your race so that by the time you leave for the track your whole day is bottled up within you and all the accumulated energy can be propelled toward your race effort.  I always felt guilty about wasting my entire day for an evening race but I’m starting to believe that there is really something to this, you can kind of justify it when its your JOB! 

Anyway, my memory lapse began even before I left for the track that day.  I only vaguely remember packing my bag and leaving.  I was nervous so I called Coach Row that morning which I don’t typically do.  I didn’t really think he was going to tell me anything that he hadn’t already but I mainly just wanted to hear his voice.  It ended up being a very clutch conversation which helped me really hone in on what I wanted to get out of the race.  It usually comes so natural for him to be brutally honest to everyone else but I’ve begun to notice that sometimes he struggles to tell me things that he knows I won’t like to hear. After the Prefontaine Meet he told me I wasn’t focused enough.  I protested at first but eventually came to my senses and have been working on it ever since.  I did NOT want to make that mistake again.  It was that focus, on the simple race plan we decided on, that moved me from place to place that day, barely making note of where I was or what I was feeling.  Smooth, Efficient, Come home strong.  The name of the game was not the time, or the win today, it was all about making the team.  I learned a cold, hard lesson from my teammate the day before and was NOT going to let that happen to me.  Someone else on our support staff gave me another cue that I carried with me throughout the day- to take negative thoughts and distractions out of the way by identifying them, placing a mental flag reading, “IRRELEVANT” on it, and sending it on its way.  It all sounds much more complicated than it actually was.  I was trying to keep things as simple as possible really.

So somehow, I eventually found myself on the line…….I am not a notoriously good kicker, rather the opposite in fact.  So I started out pretty conservative. I have been working on patience and trusting that my body will have what it needs the last few laps.  This was the ultimate test of both.  Sally Kipyego told me that there is a point in every race no matter how hard you train and prepare where your body hurts and protests, trying desperately to convince your mind to allow you to stop or at least slow down.  It is incredibly easy to listen.  But if you can push through just the first few seconds of that (about 20 sec), you are in a whole new zone.  Your mind stops fighting and accepts and your body can do things that seemed physically impossible.  This theme came up again in the movie, ‘We Bought a Zoo’ when Matt Damon tells his son, “All it takes is 20 seconds of intense Courage to do something  more incredible than you could ever have imagined!”  Anyway, that moment came to me and I prayed.  Harder than I have prayed in a long time.  Sure enough, after that I was just running…no more thinking, not nearly as much pain.  Even in the final kick it wasn’t so much the agony slowing me down, it felt more like a dream where you try to run but your body just doesn’t respond. I don’t remember looking at the finish line, or the time or the video board.  I was all in my head I guess, praying that everyone behind me was rigging up as bad as I was.  When I crossed that line, I couldn’t control myself, I have no idea what a fool I made of myself.  All I remember was allowing myself to collapse (which I only remember because I try never to do that especially lately because Coach tells me not to show how tired I really am) but my body was SHOT. They rushed us to an interview and then a speedy victory lap which was more painful than the race for me just because my body was registering pain again by then and it was hitting like a load of bricks! By the time we got our medals though, I was able to enjoy things again and started to really soak it all in!  We even got a press conference! Track NEVER gets press conferences (at least not ME, I guess some of the bigger names do more often…)That was sweet!  Then on to drug testing, another thing that gets smoother and easier with time and experience.  And finally, reunited with my family and friends- the people that deserve just as much credit for my successes as me!  They ordered pizza and stuck around for me and we had a great time talking and celebrating!

Wow, crazy day, incredible relief.  Two intense years focused on this one race.  Done. Finished. Capeesh. Ahhhhhhh.  Enjoy the moment.  Get excited for the future.  What??! There IS life after June??!.....YES, and its going to be FUN!!!!!!!